The News You Can Use….For Nothing Useful

“Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead.  The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.”  ~Bob Seger

In case you missed it, here’s a run down of last week’s, probably not top news stories, but at the very least, the news stories that won’t make you want to take a hostage, or defect to another country.


Corey Feldman has security

Also, Corey Feldman claims he was the victim of a botched assassination attempt.

According to the less attractive of the two Corey’s (RIP, Corey Haim), Corey F was out and about in his car….maybe a 1972 Cadillac Sedan de Ville….I don’t know for sure….when his security entourage….all three of them….became distracted….maybe by a girl named Mercedes dancing on the hood or something….which allowed the perfect window of opportunity for the would-be assassin to strike.

As the details poured in….

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It became clear that the stabbing weapon was probably a toothpick.  Or, maybe, a sewing needle.

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Anyway, Corey believes its possible the attempted homicide was the result of his threats, once he’s crowd funded $10 million, to start naming names regarding an alleged pedophile ring in Hollywood.

I don’t think these people have anything to worry about, because there is no way Corey Feldman raises $10 million any time this century.


Mom teaches her son a valuable life lesson learned via a shopping trip to Goodwill

Am I the only one who doesn’t really get what the lesson was?

I mean, look, I understand she wanted her son to learn that labels and material possessions don’t define a person, but….I’m not sure I get how making him spend twenty-dollars at Goodwill on clothing, he then had to wear to school, is teaching him a lesson about anything….other than, perhaps, how far a dollar goes on designer labels at Goodwill.

Unless….did she require him to buy stuff from a section dedicated to another decade?

Halloween costumes?

Leisure suits?

I don’t get it….


Dawson Leary was an orphan

Dawson’s Creek, that iconic, coming of age teen drama from the late 90’s, is now twenty years old.

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Ouch….I don’t remember becoming old enough to remember twenty-years ago.

Anyway, back to the news….Entertainment Weekly got the cast together for a reunion of sorts.

Dawson, Joey, Pacey, Jen, Andi, Jack, Audrey and Grams, came together for a fancy Huck Finn (I guess?) inspired photo shoot, but two cast members were obviously missing….

Mitch and Gayle….Dawson’s parents.  Why the slight, EW?


Disclaimer:  I may (definitely) have paraphrased and might have (probably) editorialized a bit (a lot).

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