The News You Can Use….For Nothing Useful

“Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead.  The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.”  ~Bob Seger

In case you missed it, here’s a run down of last week’s, probably not top news stories, but at the very least, the news stories that won’t make you want to take a hostage, or defect to another country.

Corey Feldman has security

Also, Corey Feldman claims he was the victim of a botched assassination attempt.

According to the less attractive of the two Corey’s (RIP, Corey Haim), Corey F was out and about in his car….maybe a 1972 Cadillac Sedan de Ville….I don’t know for sure….when his security entourage….all three of them….became distracted….maybe by a girl named Mercedes dancing on the hood or something….which allowed the perfect window of opportunity for the would-be assassin to strike.

As the details poured in….


It became clear that the stabbing weapon was probably a toothpick.  Or, maybe, a sewing needle.


Anyway, Corey believes its possible the attempted homicide was the result of his threats, once he’s crowd funded $10 million, to start naming names regarding an alleged pedophile ring in Hollywood.

I don’t think these people have anything to worry about, because there is no way Corey Feldman raises $10 million any time this century.

Mom teaches her son a valuable life lesson learned via a shopping trip to Goodwill

Am I the only one who doesn’t really get what the lesson was?

I mean, look, I understand she wanted her son to learn that labels and material possessions don’t define a person, but….I’m not sure I get how making him spend twenty-dollars at Goodwill on clothing, he then had to wear to school, is teaching him a lesson about anything….other than, perhaps, how far a dollar goes on designer labels at Goodwill.

Unless….did she require him to buy stuff from a section dedicated to another decade?

Halloween costumes?

Leisure suits?

I don’t get it….

Dawson Leary was an orphan

Dawson’s Creek, that iconic, coming of age teen drama from the late 90’s, is now twenty years old.


Ouch….I don’t remember becoming old enough to remember twenty-years ago.

Anyway, back to the news….Entertainment Weekly got the cast together for a reunion of sorts.

Dawson, Joey, Pacey, Jen, Andi, Jack, Audrey and Grams, came together for a fancy Huck Finn (I guess?) inspired photo shoot, but two cast members were obviously missing….

Mitch and Gayle….Dawson’s parents.  Why the slight, EW?

Disclaimer:  I may (definitely) have paraphrased and might have (probably) editorialized a bit (a lot).

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