Why Can’t I Quit You Facebook?

“Facebook is like a jail. You sit around, waste time, have a profile picture, write on walls and get poked by guys you don’t really know.” ~Unknown….I saw it on Facebook.

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.

I love that I get to watch the children of my childhood friends grow-up without having to actually visit any of them.

I hate when my childhood friends post all the mommy wars crap.

breastfeeding-biotch.png  formula-feeding-because-you-can-eat-drink-or-take-whatever-drugs-or-birth-control-you-want-every-day-wine-anyone-270a3.png

I love when my Grandma posts pictures of herself road-tripping across the country and learning how to make stained glass windows with her friends from the Y.

I hate when she posts stuff like this:

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Because, really, Grandma!?

You are practically old enough to remember the smell of the sea from the deck of the Mayflower.

You know damn good and well, nobody hopped off that boat and was like, “Awesome!  A Pow Wow, teach me your ways “



I love the links to Mommy Bloggers who manage to write about the trials and tribulations of parenting without being judgey and self-righteous.

I hate the links to the Mommy Bloggers who write things like: The 347 Things You Should Never Say to Your Child Unless You Want Him to Grow-Up to be a Piece of Shit Who Hates You.

Seriously ladies, just because you’ve been a parent for five years and have 4,000 Twitter followers, does not make you an expert.  Please.  STOP.


I love that I’m able to unfollow family members who regurgitate ridiculous memes from sites called “Survive our Collapse” and “Conservative World Daily,” as though they are actual, reputable news sources, without those people knowing about it.

I hate that during, and in the wake of the last presidential election, I found out that a ridiculous number of my family members, who I had thought were good people, are actually REALLY big douche-bags and I had to unfriend them.


But, I love that one unexpected benefit of growing up in a largely dysfunctional family, is that we only see one another when someone dies, or when someone get’s married….and in both cases, only if there is an open bar.  So, it makes the unfriending less awkward.

So, here I am….somewhere between hitting the delete button, but then not, because I don’t know if I want to lose a platform that connects me socially with the small number of people I still like, but don’t want to have to talk to on the phone.

Then, of course, there are principals to consider.  Like Facebook allegedly profiting off advertising placed by the Russian government-linked, Internet Research Agency, during the election.

It’s pretty messed up, actually.  Not just that it happened, but that people were possibly influenced enough by advertisements on Facebook, that it impacted their vote and then ultimately, the election.

I mean, how stupid do you have to be to read something on Facebook and then allow it to impact a major decision?  And if I may play the devil’s advocate for a moment, how is that Facebook’s fault?


And yes, I recognize that the issue is much larger than just simple ad placement.  Data was mined and sold and perhaps not ethically and that’s not cool.  But, I use the internet with the understanding that it’s not safe.

I assume that someone is probably watching and probably super bored if they are watching me, because this morning, I spent over an hour researching kitchen cabinet hardware and it doesn’t get much sexier than that.

And it’s not lost on me that I think to myself, I’d like a new pair of Nikes, and then I log onto Facebook, or some other platform, and I’m bombarded by Nike advertisements.

I’m sure that somewhere along the line, I’ve clicked something that allows the internet to read my mind, but I’m not that interesting and I’m also not that easily influenced.

But if it’s true that these ads impacted the results of not just the American presidential election, but also the Brexit vote, doesn’t it speak more to the fact that we have become largely complacent and lazy?

That perhaps, we need to step away from social media and our phones and take a look around and educate ourselves and become a bit more involved in the change we seek, instead of just posting about it?

I mean, when I want to learn about something, Facebook isn’t where I go to seek knowledge.  It’s where I go to stalk people who were mean to me in high school, so that I can point and laugh at them from behind my screen.  Because, I turned out better.

It’s where I go to wish my third cousin a Happy Birthday, because Facebook was kind enough to alert me to the celebration.

It’s where I go to humblebrag by posting pictures and quips that make it look like I’ve got my shit together, even though….nope.

But then, Cher has deleted her Facebook account and Jim Carrey and whole bunch of other people, because #merica.

So….am I being complacent and lazy by not following suit?

Should I be more outraged than I am?

I’m still undecided.  I’m researching.

What about you?


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