Life Lesson #1….From a Self-Proclaimed Know-it-All….Drive-Thru Etiquette

“You know what really chaps my ass?” ~Harry Dunne, Dumb & Dumber

People Who Order $100 Worth of Food in the Drive-Thru

The definition of a drive-thru is pretty much this:  A drive-thru is for people who want less than three things, none of which are complicated to make and all of which can be tossed through the window in one trip, with a total transaction time of 30 seconds or less.

Don’t ask where I got this definition from, just trust me, it’s accurate.

Personally, I only use the drive-thru and I know exactly where to find one, no matter where I’m traveling, because I’m a planner.

I prefer it/require it, because I’m really introverted with a bit of social anxiety and so if I have to actually talk to someone, I prefer to communicate through some type of machine….because, no, actually, I cannot stop fidgeting and/or being super awkward.

We’ve all got crosses to bear and whatnot.

Also, I can be kind of lazy.  Having to park my car….especially in the winter months….get out, go inside, wait in line, order, make small talk, then walk all the way back out, etc., etc., etc., is just, ugh, not the kind of activity I want to waste my low energy on.

Which is exactly why my husband will always be the one who makes the Saturday morning breakfast run that includes things like:

  1. Everything bagel, lightly toasted with a smidgen of cream cheese, so smidgen-like as to be almost non-existent.  (My step-son)
  2. Blueberry cake donut, but only the donut, not the donut holes and if they only have the donut holes, then a blueberry muffin, but the kind with he sugary sprinkles on top, not the kind without and served warm. (My step-daughter)
  3. Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a toasted english muffin with extra cheese and extra bacon.  (My six-year-old son, dude loves his bacon).

Because, that’s the kind of order you walk-in for.

It’s not the kind of order you spend 15 minutes shouting into a speaker, while a very long line forms behind you, burning up fuel and patience….only to then have to wait another ten minutes for you to get your food, another three minutes while you rifle through the bag to make sure everything is there and another five while you shove the receipt through the window to point out all the things that are missing from said bag….only to then be instructed by the exasperated drive-thru worker to pull-up and wait while they remedy the problem and complete your order….which then requires the rest of us to maneuver around you in order to escape.

It’s bull-shit.

And so yes, if this is you, you 100% deserve the stink eye I will shoot your way as I drive slowly past, sipping my now cold beverage.

Also, yes, I have 99 problems and like 98 of them are first world.


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